The Problem of the “Good Clothes”

Hard-wired to "hang on" and how to handle it

It seems that many of us can do the work of whittling down our wardrobes and setting up a wardrobe plan for ourselves and yet still get stuck when it comes to wearing the clothes in our closets. Why would this happen?

Those clothes that we had once labeled our “good clothes” to be saved for a rainy day or a special occasion are suddenly a part of our working wardrobe and, while we should be receiving a boost of confidence from knowing that these special clothes make us look fantastic, we instead feel a twinge of fear and a desire to continue to “stash” them rather than wear them. Oops!

Fear of the Future
There are a couple of things going on here. First is the fact that we are hard-wired to collect things for a rainy day. Animal research shows that it is the primitive sub-cortical brain that produces the drive to collect food or other objects. No matter how much is stashed away, animals will continue to collect. In humans, however, the right mesial prefrontal cortex helps us discriminate between what is necessary and what is useless, and it keeps the hoarding drive in check. But here’s the key: what is necessary?

Unless we can convince ourselves that we will be “OK” without an item, we will have a very real fear response to letting something go. These nice clothes represent to us a future of provision. As long as they stay unworn, they are the “someday clothes” that we can feel secure in knowing are in our possession should we ever need them. Wear them now, and they are no longer provisional.

The catch-22 is that in many cases these “someday clothes”, although they fit us beautifully and look great, will never get worn. Instead, we suffice on lesser-quality items because we don’t feel bad about wearing them out. If they need to be replaced, we feel confident that we can do so. But that amazing designer outfit that cost more than you can believe you actually spent….? If something were to happen to that, you’d never be able to replace it. So you feel.

Now whether or not you feel you can replace it, a garment that is in your possession is one that you have ALREADY purchased. The money spent on it is gone. Even if you were to sell it, you’d never recoup the full amount you paid. And yet we tend to look at something that is purchased and still see the dollar figure that was paid as representative of the item’s worth. This is faulty thinking. The time to pay attention to the dollar amount is before you buy, not after. Once you’ve spent the money on something, you might as well use it and enjoy it as much as possible. Use it so much that it eventually does get worn out.* Then you will have received the maximal value for what you purchased. And if you don’t enjoy wearing it, then let it go! Because almost certainly if you don’t enjoy it now, you won’t tomorrow either.

Idealizing Your Lifestyle
The other element playing in to this problem of “the good clothes” is that perhaps you’ve fallen in to the trap of idealizing your lifestyle and wardrobe needs. One of the reasons I insist on beginning your wardrobe plan with the clothes that you both love AND wear is that often we try to make ourselves over into something that is just plain unrealistic. On paper it looks great, but in practice it’s a disaster. An example of this is a mother of young children with a wardrobe of dry-clean-only clothes. While the clothes may look fantastic, the fabrication and cut of the clothes probably won’t lend themselves to spit-up, games on the ground, messy food prep and clean-up, etc. It is akin to working out at the gym in a suit and heels. If you’ve got some “good clothes” hanging out in your closet that you are scared to wear, stop and think if it is because they just don’t suit your lifestyle. And if they don’t, they need to be replaced with clothes that DO.

The Newness Factor
One last pitfall that we fall into when we create a new wardrobe it that of the “newness” factor. Yet one more reason for starting your wardrobe plan with clothes you both love and wear is that we are creatures of habit, and it actually does take a while to make lasting changes. We will resist wearing something new for just this reason, especially if the item is different (cut, color, fabrication, quality) than something we usually wear. Clothing is very personal. With each new garment, it takes time to “break it in” and feel like the garment is really “you”. Until this happens (which usually takes a few wearings), you feel like you’re in a borrowed wardrobe. Try this: force yourself to wear an outfit at least three times in a period of two weeks. Wear it for the whole day. If you can wear it three times in one week, even better. If, after these three wearings, you still don’t feel comfortable in the outfit, you know it is best to let it go. Otherwise it will remain in your wardrobe as the perpetual “good clothing” that never gets worn.

Remember: It takes time to build up a good, quality wardrobe that meets all of your needs and makes you feel great. Don’t feel the pressure to get it all right at the very start. Think of your closet as continually improving and evolving just as you are continually improving and evolving. And don’t get caught in the trap of the “good clothes”. Remember that the goal of the Very Small Closet is a closet full of clothes that you love, look great on you, and that you WEAR.

*I want to point out that I am not advocating purposely mistreating or overusing something so that it wears out faster…I am all for properly caring for and maintaining things that you value so that they last as long as possible. With many articles of clothing, however, there does come a point at which the item is no longer in style…and no matter how much you’ve worn it or not it is time to let it go. So it makes sense to wear things while they are still useful to you.


Go back to the Main Page

Contact Jennifer